Well I would like to one up the bitchy resting face with my personal problem, hideous picture face. This is what happens when someone snaps a picture of you when you are caught completely unaware. You may be a really pretty girl, but in that picture you look like an absolute train wreck.
This happens to me all the time. I don’t know what is wrong with me. My forehead gets all wrinkled. My eyes are all squinty and hard to see. My mouth is in some crazy shape like I am speaking a foreign language or eating an especially sour lemon.
And then there’s my body. What on earth do I do when I am moving around in the world? How am I standing with both of my knees bent and why are my arms positioned like I am doing a leprechaun jig? Sometimes I look like a Muppet flopping all over the place when I am caught in one of these fabulous pictures.
Recently we went strawberry picking with some of Little Miss’s friends from her swimming lessons. One of the moms was taking rapid-fire pictures of everybody to assure that she caught some cute moments. She took a picture of me that I just knew would be a disaster.
First of all, I was wearing unattractive clothes and cowboy boots because I figured there was a high likelihood of getting covered in mud. I was holding an enormous box of strawberries pressed up against my stomach. It was windy, and Mr. Man had just fallen down and I was squinting at him and saying “uh oh” or “what happened” or something like that. It was all a recipe for badness.
On the way home, I got the text that contained the awful picture and while I am completely embarrassed by how bad it is, I decided to share it, along with a picture of how I really look for comparison.
Now, what in the hell happened to turn me, a normal looking person, into the angry troll I was in that strawberry patch? And which one is the real me? Do I look like a giant mess all the time while I am going through my day? Do I only look halfway decent when I am posing perfectly? Is my face too expressive, causing me to make awful faces without even realizing?
Maybe I should take lessons on how to arrange my face in a more pleasing manner. Or maybe I should just invest in paper bags with smiley faces drawn on them. Or maybe this is just a bad picture, which I have now shared with all of you. Feel free to laugh, because it is seriously awful.