Here’s a topic I wasn’t expecting to discuss for at least another decade, but my kids are in a little kissing phase right now, so we need to set some ground rules.
As Mr. Man gets older, he and Little Miss are becoming really good friends. They are always looking for each other, talking about each other, and Mr. Man named his recently purchased panda stuffed animal after his big sis.
Both kids love hugs and kisses, and Little Miss goes through points in the day when she wants to cover her brother with them. Unfortunately sometimes he just isn’t in the mood.
A few days ago, while I was cooking in the kitchen, the two of them were running back and forth with Mr. Man screaming. I thought they were playing, but I realized he was yelling “no!” Turns out Little Miss was chasing him, catching him and giving him forced kisses on his head. And she was so upset that he was crying and didn’t want one.
I had to stop the “game” and explain to her that you can’t force people to kiss you and you can’t kiss people who don’t want to be kissed. Flashback to college with that newspaper guy that I had a huge crush on who came to our house party completely drunk when I was hoping maybe he would kiss me goodbye before he left but who instead mumbled something unintelligible into my ear, leaving me crushed and kissless. Lesson learned.
She cried and was pretty crushed that Mr. Man didn’t want her kisses, but then as Mr. Man always does, he surprised me with his sweetness. That little tough guy came over to us, stood in front of Little Miss and tipped his forehead up towards her, offering her the perfect place to kiss. She bent down to his level to comply, which made him laugh and run away.
Feeling like my heart could just burst, I turned to her and said, “Doesn’t it feel better when you kiss someone who wants to be kissed?” She nodded and ran to play with her brother.
What a heavy life lesson. I’m not looking forward to the next go round with this conversation, but I can only hope that it goes as smoothly. For now I am just going to hang on to these toddler years while feeling enormous gratitude for the fact that my kids have one another and love each other so much.
As Mr. Man gets older, he and Little Miss are becoming really good friends. They are always looking for each other, talking about each other, and Mr. Man named his recently purchased panda stuffed animal after his big sis.
Both kids love hugs and kisses, and Little Miss goes through points in the day when she wants to cover her brother with them. Unfortunately sometimes he just isn’t in the mood.
A few days ago, while I was cooking in the kitchen, the two of them were running back and forth with Mr. Man screaming. I thought they were playing, but I realized he was yelling “no!” Turns out Little Miss was chasing him, catching him and giving him forced kisses on his head. And she was so upset that he was crying and didn’t want one.
I had to stop the “game” and explain to her that you can’t force people to kiss you and you can’t kiss people who don’t want to be kissed. Flashback to college with that newspaper guy that I had a huge crush on who came to our house party completely drunk when I was hoping maybe he would kiss me goodbye before he left but who instead mumbled something unintelligible into my ear, leaving me crushed and kissless. Lesson learned.
She cried and was pretty crushed that Mr. Man didn’t want her kisses, but then as Mr. Man always does, he surprised me with his sweetness. That little tough guy came over to us, stood in front of Little Miss and tipped his forehead up towards her, offering her the perfect place to kiss. She bent down to his level to comply, which made him laugh and run away.
Feeling like my heart could just burst, I turned to her and said, “Doesn’t it feel better when you kiss someone who wants to be kissed?” She nodded and ran to play with her brother.
What a heavy life lesson. I’m not looking forward to the next go round with this conversation, but I can only hope that it goes as smoothly. For now I am just going to hang on to these toddler years while feeling enormous gratitude for the fact that my kids have one another and love each other so much.