So, when my husband gets in my car and notes for the millionth time that I have no gas, here are some of the reasons why.
1. I know all the Tsum Tsums we have and can identify which one is missing in a single glance.
Which, by the way, is something I do at least twenty times a day.
2. The talking never stops.
I have a four-year-old daughter. She never stops talking and it short-circuits my brain.
3. I am trying to keep track of both shoes.
Mr. Man has a thing about his right shoe. He doesn’t like it and he kicks it off sporadically so I can hunt and crawl on the floors of Walmart to find it under a dusty display.
4. I have several books memorized.
“What did that say? On the cover, what did that say?” How can I possibly find functional brain space when I am using a portion of it to remember all the words to Monster at the End of This Book and all it’s friends?
5. My calendar is filling up and I can’t remember which gifts I already bought.
Which weekend was the birthday party? Did I buy a gift for that other thing? Which weekend is Father’s Day? Ah crap, there’s no gas in the car.
6. I know the translations to all of Mr. Man’s words.
Ack-oon? Yeah, that’s a fork.
7. I know the names of the My Little Ponies.
Once I made a note on my Notes app, I miraculously remembered all their names. Thanks brain. Really helpful.
8. I answer questions all day.
I answer the same questions, all day long on a loop. I’m so exhausted and in such a trance, I can’t even remember if I brushed my teeth.
9. I’m still trying to learn the words to the song from Frozen Fever.
It’s not happening. I just keep defaulting to “I even got Kristoff and Sven to take a shower!”
10. I am always running late.
We have 20 minutes to get to swimming lessons, it is a half hour away and the gaslight is on. Should we stop and get gas? Nah, we can make it!