Listen, being a mom is hard. I have got so much going on in my life, my brain is filled almost to capacity with all sorts of useless information. I have gone to work without my wallet. I went to the beach and forgot to pack pants to change into and had to buy a pair. I tell people I am going to do things and then forget over and over again, and the best one that I have done recently? I met up with a friend after weeks of trying to schedule a lunch date so I could pick up the Girl Scout cookies I ordered and I left the lunch without the cookies.
So, when my husband gets in my car and notes for the millionth time that I have no gas, here are some of the reasons why.
1. I know all the Tsum Tsums we have and can identify which one is missing in a single glance.
Which, by the way, is something I do at least twenty times a day.
2. The talking never stops.
I have a four-year-old daughter. She never stops talking and it short-circuits my brain.
3. I am trying to keep track of both shoes.
Mr. Man has a thing about his right shoe. He doesn’t like it and he kicks it off sporadically so I can hunt and crawl on the floors of Walmart to find it under a dusty display.
4. I have several books memorized.
“What did that say? On the cover, what did that say?” How can I possibly find functional brain space when I am using a portion of it to remember all the words to Monster at the End of This Book and all it’s friends?
5. My calendar is filling up and I can’t remember which gifts I already bought.
Which weekend was the birthday party? Did I buy a gift for that other thing? Which weekend is Father’s Day? Ah crap, there’s no gas in the car.
6. I know the translations to all of Mr. Man’s words.
Ack-oon? Yeah, that’s a fork.
7. I know the names of the My Little Ponies.
Once I made a note on my Notes app, I miraculously remembered all their names. Thanks brain. Really helpful.
8. I answer questions all day.
I answer the same questions, all day long on a loop. I’m so exhausted and in such a trance, I can’t even remember if I brushed my teeth.
9. I’m still trying to learn the words to the song from Frozen Fever.
It’s not happening. I just keep defaulting to “I even got Kristoff and Sven to take a shower!”
10. I am always running late.
We have 20 minutes to get to swimming lessons, it is a half hour away and the gaslight is on. Should we stop and get gas? Nah, we can make it!
So, when my husband gets in my car and notes for the millionth time that I have no gas, here are some of the reasons why.
1. I know all the Tsum Tsums we have and can identify which one is missing in a single glance.
Which, by the way, is something I do at least twenty times a day.
2. The talking never stops.
I have a four-year-old daughter. She never stops talking and it short-circuits my brain.
3. I am trying to keep track of both shoes.
Mr. Man has a thing about his right shoe. He doesn’t like it and he kicks it off sporadically so I can hunt and crawl on the floors of Walmart to find it under a dusty display.
4. I have several books memorized.
“What did that say? On the cover, what did that say?” How can I possibly find functional brain space when I am using a portion of it to remember all the words to Monster at the End of This Book and all it’s friends?
5. My calendar is filling up and I can’t remember which gifts I already bought.
Which weekend was the birthday party? Did I buy a gift for that other thing? Which weekend is Father’s Day? Ah crap, there’s no gas in the car.
6. I know the translations to all of Mr. Man’s words.
Ack-oon? Yeah, that’s a fork.
7. I know the names of the My Little Ponies.
Once I made a note on my Notes app, I miraculously remembered all their names. Thanks brain. Really helpful.
8. I answer questions all day.
I answer the same questions, all day long on a loop. I’m so exhausted and in such a trance, I can’t even remember if I brushed my teeth.
9. I’m still trying to learn the words to the song from Frozen Fever.
It’s not happening. I just keep defaulting to “I even got Kristoff and Sven to take a shower!”
10. I am always running late.
We have 20 minutes to get to swimming lessons, it is a half hour away and the gaslight is on. Should we stop and get gas? Nah, we can make it!