After being a mom for four years now, I have discovered there are some foods that are just not worth the hassle and should be omitted from your kid’s diet all together. Of course I never remember this, or think to myself, oh it’s not that bad, I’ll just clean it up. But don’t be like me! Don’t give these foods to your kids unless you are crazy or seriously love to clean!
1. Rice- This is the biggest offender on the list. A single serving of rice has, what, a million little, tiny grains that can be flung all around the kitchen. Mr. Man eats food by the handful and then drops it on the floor or rubs it through his hair. It is impossible to get rice out of hair. It turns into a paste and adheres to each strand. Little Miss insists on putting her hands in her rice at some point during the meal and then she shakes them like a wet dog, getting rice on the floor in about a 5 foot radius from her seat where I can then walk on it and get it stuck to my socks. Note: It is also impossible to sweep rice. I prefer to use the Dyson attachment.
2. Blueberries- This one you can give to your kids, but it comes with a warning. Their poop will be an alarming color. The first time Little Miss ate a significant amount of blueberries I thought she had internal bleeding. Her poop was jet black! I was in a panic until I remembered she had eaten about a half a pound of blueberries the previous day. Also, the poop stains their skin if it sits in the diaper too long. And if you have a kid with a weak stomach, remember that blueberry vomit also stains, especially if you have the bright idea of including it in homemade apple blueberry baby food. It is a beautiful color, but you’ll never get it out of your off white carpet.
3. Hardboiled eggs- I don’t know if this is normal, but my kids love hardboiled eggs and egg salad. I just started eating them a few years back, but in this house, they are a crowd pleaser for the little ones. The egg salad isn’t as bad, but hardboiled egg yoke is like a paste that no baby wipe can remove from between little fingers.
4. Corn- I doubt I have to explain this one, but corn-filled diapers just gross me out.
5. Ramen/Rice noodles- Sticky. So, so sticky. They get stuck to their hands, stuck to the high chair, stuck to the floor and then your socks. How could they possibly get noodles stuck under the table? Well they did it. On a side note, I am talking Ramen noodles used in a homemade recipe. The packaged kid is definitely on the do no feed list for kids, though for a totally different reason (Hello, sodium!).
6. Ritz crackers- I don’t think Mr. Man has ever put one of these in his mouth. They touch his hand and he can’t help himself. He has got to squeeze and crumble them into a fine powder and dump it all over the floor.
7. Pastina- Remember what I said about rice? Now imagine it with nearly microscopic little star shaped pasta. When Little Miss was first trying food, I thought pastina would be a brilliant thing to give her. It’s so tiny, there is no risk of choking and it is delicious. Wrong! It gets everywhere, stuck to everything, in their noses, all over their clothes, and it’s so small you think you’ve gotten all of it cleaned up, but you never can be too sure. You’ll be finding it stuck to things for days to come.
8. Anything containing turmeric- My husband is Indian, so on occasion we have Indian food for dinner. A lot of the time it is too spicy for the kids, but when we can, we make something that they can eat. It’s not as big of a problem for Little Miss since she had finally started to be a cleaner eater, but Mr. Man is a disaster. We gave him some chicken and potatoes that had that familiar yellow hue and he stained his bib, his shirt and the high chair tray. They are all still yellow. There is just no removing that color.
9. Gerber puffs- Even though these are intended for babies, my kids still love them. Here’s a word of advice, if you have a child who is around one, don’t give them too many puffs at one time and definitely don’t give them the entire container because they are all going on the floor. For an extra bonus, if you miss one when you clean them up and you step on it, it turns into dust. More stuff to vacuum.
10. Green bagels- You know how some bagel places dye their bagels green for St. Patrick’s day? If you give one to your kid, don’t forget that they ate it. Mr. Man ate a green bagel this year and later in the day, threw up neon green foam. I nearly had a heart attack trying to figure out what type of poison he had ingested. Everything was locked up so what could he have possibly gotten into? It was the bagel. My mom had a similar experience while watching him the following day when she changed his diaper, which was filled with day glow poop. Frightening.
There you have it. Feed at your own risk with a vacuum and plenty of baby wipes on hand.